Have u ever intercepted a text message meant for someone else... or have u ever accidentally sent one to the wrong person?
I Have... and let me tell u... it causes hella anxiety! I recently watched "Den of Thieves" again and one particular scene stuck out to me... it was of Big Nick (Gerard Butler) and his wife. Watch the clip below then continue the read to hear about that time a nigga I was dating sent me the wrong text...
"You a bad bitch that was SO Hot" *blank stare*... Can u fxckin imagine receiving a text like this from your husband when u know he wasn't with u? Wow... I mean not for nothing, this is why "Snapped" is in its' 27th Season. I mean so many things ran through my head and especially the "SO" all up in CAPS... like damn, what the bxtch do, suck that dic from the back? Of all the emotions to feel, hurt and anger are at the top of the list, and especially if you've dealt with infidelity or trust issues with your significant other prior.
So in my situation what had happened was I was dating this one dude a few years back *we can call him Mr. C* and we ran into that exact situation! We had been dating for a lil while at this point and he wanted to become more serious but I jus wasn’t ready for that at the moment.
One night when I was home chillin I received a text from Mr. C! I checked it out and was quite surprised because I knew off bat that that message wasn’t meant for me. It was basically about getting some dic... and I’m a bottom so I don’t give dic! Now as far as I was concerned he was a top but that message verified that he was indeed a vers top! That wasn’t necessarily an automatic turnoff but it def was gonna require a conversation especially if he thought I was gonna enter into anything serious with him!
I texted him back and said something to the effect of “Oh so that’s what u like... Let’s discuss it whenever you have the chance.” Although I’m not vers in the capacity of sexual position, I was willing to have a conversation with him regarding sexual likes/dislikes/fetishes etc to figure out how exactly we’d navigate us should it became something more serious.
He basically never had the chance because every time I brought it up he ended the conversation about it! I seen him in person after the fact and he still wouldn’t communicate those other interests of his... it’s like he was embarrassed and shamed that he slipped up and I found out! #RedFlag
I mean don't get me wrong, I understand those feelings, but at what point are u just gonna Grow TF Up? Like how long do we as people plan to live our lives lying and in deceit? Are we that shamed about who we are and what we want that we can't even keep it real? If the fact remains that you occasionally want some dic, then I'mma need u to be bold enough to tell somebody that occasionally u want some dic. Of course this situation significantly becomes more difficult if you're heterosexually pretending... but I'm gay and he was gay so I didn't see the issue in us having a basic ass conversation. I ask questions and usually the right ones, but no matter what u ask, if a MF don't wanna keep it real with u then they jus simply won't! #GoFigure
He basically put me in a peculiar situation. I had been single for maaaaaaaad long and he was the first guy in awhile that I actually dated dated and liked... everyone else was jus fxckin but me and him literally spent time together, went on outings, gifts all that... He was an all around good guy and I thoroughly enjoyed his presence but I'm not about to play nobody's fool regardless of how much I like him! There was only so much that I could do... and would do... as far as trying to cultivate the dialogue with him, but the choice ultimately was mine to make... so I made it!
I basically told myself that I would never be in a relationship with him... cause if he couldn’t be honest with me about something as serious as sexual desires, then ain’t no way I could expect for him to be honest about the integrity of our relationship! I needed no further clarification because his lack of response was loud enough.
See this is the thing, I’ve never been big on open relationships but I kind of slightly opened up to the idea of the possibility of giving my man a hall pass here or there. I’m most certain this became a thought due to the fact that most men I messed with were bisexuals so I’d have to keep it real with myself if I expected a relationship to last with me and them! Now don't get me wrong, just because someone is bisexual doesn't mean that they can't be committed to one sex while in a relationship with them, but I know people, and people are triflin! I like to have an understanding about desires, urges etc so that I know what I'm working with... cause if u think u need to slide in some pxssy every other week while you’re with me, then this ain’t gonna work! Same thing with vers partners... how often do they get the itch that needs to be scratched... cause if u be itching like u got eczema or something, that that ain't gonna work neither!
To this day I’m still not 100% sold on the idea of a hall pass because folk be out here clowning and running amuck wit it! A hall pass or an open relationship isn't the grounds for fxcking who u want when u want, there's levels to this shxt... and the foundation for any relationship is and will always be respect and boundaries... or the lack there of! So if u continuously need to step outside the parameters of your relationship, then find u someone who shares that same value... they're out there... TRUST ME!
Eventually Mr. C grew tired of me not wanting to be in a relationship with him... but didn’t grow tired of the fact that the one thing that was holding us back was his honesty... or lack there of! #WTDTA He basically went ghost... I’m talking like he legit stopped answering my texts, calls etc! At first I was tight because I thought that we had built enough of a friendship for us to not have to end like that, but I was wrong! He hadn’t yet taken responsibility nor accountability and dealing with me was forcing him to face this. That was some coward shxt but I"m jus happy that I didn't allow his evasiveness to manipulate me into believing I was buggin for wanting the truth!
Have any of u ever experienced that? I just told you #WWJD (What Would Jenx'D Do)... but what would u have done???
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